Specifications
Model Name: Steven Kan
Manufacturer: David and Sylvia Kan
Product Generation: 2
Date of Inception: 12 April 1970
Predecessor Model: Michael Kan (Too serious.)
Successor Model: Kevin Kan (Too wild. Product line discontinued after 3rd generation.)
Product Description:
Carbon based, multi tasking, neural-net CPU with emotional co-processor support, A/V capability, multiple prehensile appendages and true random pattern generation.
Suitable for employment, academic and leisure applications.
OS: Stanford MBA with Harvard BIOS.
Optimized Applications:
Employment series: Hi-tech manufacturing and/or strategy development. Consulting capable.
Academic series: Quantitative.
Leisure series: Water polo, volleyball, skiing.
OS Compatibility: Mac, Windows.
RAM: Aries
ROM: Space Knight
Cache: $50
Hard Drive: Quite nice
Floppy Drive: Only on a bad day
Resolution: To leave the toilet seat down.
Maximum colors:
Hair: Black
Eyes: Brown
Skin: Tan
T-shirt: White
Jeans: Blue
Jokes: Off-color
Power Supply:
Pizza, sushi, Dungeness crab, prime rib, or Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats (byte sized).
Coke, Red Hook, Chardonnay, Merlot, Gatorade, or fresh-squeezed OJ.
Dimensions:
Height: 73 (185 cm)
Mass: 185 lbs (84 kg)
Shirt size: 17 x 36
Suit size: 45L
Pant size: 33 waist, 34 inseam
Shoe size: 11
Hat size: 7 1/2
Performance:
SPECint92: unknown
SPECfp92: unknown
Bus speed: 50 yard freestyle in 21.79 seconds
Bus width: 77
Bench Press: 260 lbs
Typing speed: 75 wpm
Compatible Peripherals:
Asian ice skaters.
Striped cats.
If you found this link, you must have been really bored. E-mail me.
Back to my bio.