Model Name:  Steven Kan
Manufacturer:  David and Sylvia Kan
Product Generation:  2
Date of Inception: 12 April 1970
Predecessor Model:  Michael Kan  (Too serious.)
Successor Model:  Kevin Kan  (Too wild. Product line discontinued after 3rd generation.)

Product Description:
Carbon based, multi tasking, neural-net CPU with emotional co-processor support, A/V capability, multiple prehensile appendages and true random pattern generation.
Suitable for employment, academic and leisure applications.
OS:  Stanford MBA with Harvard BIOS.

Optimized Applications:
Employment series:   Hi-tech manufacturing and/or strategy development. Consulting capable.
Academic series:  Quantitative.
Leisure series:  Water polo, volleyball, skiing.
OS Compatibility:  Mac, Windows.

RAM:  Aries
ROM:  Space Knight
Cache:  $50
Hard Drive:  Quite nice
Floppy Drive:  Only on a bad day
Resolution:  To leave the toilet seat down.
Maximum colors:
Hair:  Black
Eyes:  Brown
Skin:  Tan
T-shirt:  White
Jeans:  Blue
Jokes:  Off-color

Power Supply:
Pizza, sushi, Dungeness crab, prime rib, or Kellogg's Frosted Mini-Wheats (byte sized).
Coke, Red Hook, Chardonnay, Merlot, Gatorade, or fresh-squeezed OJ.

Height:  73 (185 cm)
Mass:  185 lbs (84 kg)
Shirt size:  17 x 36
Suit size: 45L
Pant size: 33 waist, 34 inseam
Shoe size: 11
Hat size: 7 1/2

SPECint92:  unknown
SPECfp92:  unknown
Bus speed:  50 yard freestyle in 21.79 seconds
Bus width:  77
Bench Press:  260 lbs
Typing speed: 75 wpm

Compatible Peripherals:
Asian ice skaters.
Striped cats.
If you found this link, you must have been really bored. E-mail me.

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