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Biggy's "Kick yo' Ass" Jerk Marinade

[Works on chicken and pork]

First off, jerk is a form of cooking originating in Jamaica. When I was there 8 years ago, you couldn’t walk down the street without the sweet aroma of "jerked chicken" accosting your nostrils. Made in an open pit or large barrel, jerk is cooked slow and smoky, never letting the flames touch the meat. Pimento wood (allspice tree) is the wood of choice in Jamaica, but apple wood is an excellent substitute.

Fixin's:

(makes enough marinade for 2 chickens)

1 Whole onion, finely diced
1 Bunch of scallions (green onions) finely diced
1 cup Cider vinegar
1 cup Soy sauce
1/4 cup Oil
1 tbsp Thyme (preferably fresh)
1 tbsp Ground cinnamon
1 tbsp Ground allspice
1 tbsp Sugar
1 tsp Salt
1 tsp Minced garlic
1/4 tsp Ground nutmeg
1/4 tsp Ginger (optional)
1/8 tsp Cardamom (optional)
1 whole Habanero pepper ( these things are WICKED hot, Scoville rating of 300,000 as opposed to a jalapeno @ 10,000. Regarded as the hottest pepper in the world, if you don’t like hot, don’t try these. If you like hot, but have never used habanero peppers, please be careful)

Preparation:

  1. Go ahead and just mix all this crap together in a BIG bowl being careful not to touch your eyes (seriously, the pepper oil will stay on your hands unless THOROUGHLY washed)
  2. Take one to two cups and set them aside as your basting marinade while it’s cooking.
  3. Take 2 WHOLE chickens and wash them really well. Kick your chicken's ass in half with a big-ass cleaver, right down the center of the breast, (Traditionally jerk chicken is prepared using halved chickens. I have found they cook better this way, but if you’re lazy, or just don’t like the carnage, you can buy your chicken with its ass pre-kicked into a bunch of little pieces.
  4. Drown your chicken in the marinade for NO LESS THAN 6 hours. Its a strong marinade, and if left for more than 12 or so hours, the chicken gets really strong. 8-10 is the best I have found. Keep turning your chickens so they get good even coverage.
  5. Cook the chickens over slow coals, never ever letting flames touch the meat, hell don’t even let them get close. Turn it about every 5 minutes basting with each turn, the idea is to cook it really slow and constant turning helps. I sometimes get some twigs from my apple trees and let them smolder on top of the coals. If done properly, it should take about 45 minutes to an hour to cook. Jerk almost NEVER dries out, because the acetic acid in the vinegar keeps things just right. The sugar will however turn the chicken SUPER BROWN when finished, any liquid from an opened piece of chicken should run clear, and the skin should be a rich light-chocolate brown or carmelly color.....bordering on looking burnt....keep your fire smoky. Jamaicans argue as to whether or not you should cover it or not. I don’t, unless the chicken starts flaming, then its only to keep the flames out.
  6. This marinade can be kept in a jar for a month in the refrigerator. Due to bacterial transmission, do not store marinade that has been used! And, its probably not a good idea to baste with used marinade either. Good luck, and let me know how it turns out.